I’m ready to lose my virginity

My boyfriend and I have been making out (kissing, touching, and oral stuff) for a while, but I’m ready for the real thing! The adults in my life would say I’m too young since I’m a 10th grader and he’s a senior. But we’re in love and he’s the one I want to lose my virginity to. I’ve thought about the pros and cons, talked to people I trust, and my mind’s made up. Still, before I go all the way, I want to know what you think. Am I missing something? Besides love, trust and contraception, what else should I consider?

Ready 4 Love

Dear Ready 4 Love,

I commend and respect you for the level of thoughtfulness you’re taking before making this big decision. Please understand that oral stuff is “the real thing” too. STDs can be transmitted that way, so use a condom. Ideally, I recommend teenagers abstain from sex because the slightest misstep can leave you stuck with complicated adult issues. But if you’re going to go all the way consider this:

YOUR DIGNITY. There are times and places to have sex that are more respectable than others. Avoid spontaneous moments that put your privacy or reputation on display or at risk.

YOUR FUTURE. If you approach each time with care and caution, you’ll more likely avoid regrets. Your goal should always be monogamy and safety. Until you’ve decided to have a baby, never have sex without using birth control AND a condom.

REMEMBER: You have the right to change your mind. Anytime. Never be afraid to say “no.” You’re a smart young lady with a beautiful spirit. I’m here for you.

Always,

Essence